


Crazy

by hilithechurl



Category: TharnType the Series (TV)
Genre: Angst, Help, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Introspection, Lhong - Freeform, M/M, Pining, Sad, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:14:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23099161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hilithechurl/pseuds/hilithechurl
Summary: Lhong always tried to tell himself the growing feeling that filled his chest was gratitude, happiness, just having Tharn in his life made him the happiest, even when he was at his worst.Maybe it was his fault for not realizing sooner where the thin line of friendship and love started to blend together, because when he did it was already too late.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	Crazy

**Author's Note:**

> ... I don't even know what is this.   
> Actually I was rewatching the last episode and got emotionally overwhelmed, of course I don't approve nor justify all the things he did and he have to pay for it but I couldn't help to feel bad... Because living as the eternal best friend, watching the love of your life constantly sleep around or have new boyfriends must have destroyed the last spark of sanity he had... So yeah. I don't know. 
> 
> It's 1am please bear with me. This is mostly inspired by a introspective talk I had with my gf after watching it together and analyzing his character, we haven't read the novel yet so this is based on what happened in the serious and some assumptions I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M JUSTIFYING MYSELF AS IF I JUST HAD COMMITTED A CRIME LMAO

_**You can never break away from me** _

_**You have no one to love but me** _

_**Try to escape, Wherever you are** _

_**I can see you, You know deeply** _

_**You can never break away from me** _

_**\- Crazy, Song Ji Eun , Bang Yongguk** _

»»————> **_Crazy_** <————««

He knew it was love. He knew it for a long time. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when it started, but he was pretty sure everything began when Tharn looked into his eyes with such warmth that hurt. 

Unlike all the people who always looked down to him, unlike all the people who laughed at him for always being alone, for always hiding in a corner and cry, for being weak; Tharn never did. 

He remember his big, round eyes turning into crescents when he smiled. 

He remember the cute wrinkles on his face whenever he scrunched his nose. 

He remember his thin lips stretched into smiles that seemed to stop the whole world. 

He remember his laugh. 

He remember how his own heart always did weird flips inside his chest whenever he hugged him or patted him, whenever he asked him how he was, whenever he bought him food because he couldn't afford it and whenever he remembered his birthday. 

He remember the day spent with him, practicing music and having fun like the bestest friends, their days filled with laughter and happiness. 

Lhong always tried to tell himself the growing feeling that filled his chest was gratitude, happiness, just having Tharn in his life made him the happiest, even when he was at his worst. 

Maybe it was his fault for not realizing sooner where the thin line of friendship and love started to blend together, because when he did it was already too late. 

Because Tharn had Tar and they were so happy, so in love that it made him physically sick. 

The way that kid attached himself at him, the way Tharn let him do whatever he wanted and the way he unconsciously began to leave him behind. 

No. 

He couldn't let it happen. 

No one was going to take Tharn away from him. 

He was the only one to him. 

He couldn't let himself even think about it, his damaged and unbalanced mental state was too weak and panic attack soon began to trigger something within him. 

**Something dark. Something awful. Something evil.**

He could endure it, for him. 

Everything would be find, for him. 

He could do anything, for him. 

Right? 

**Wrong.**

The time they spent together became nothing more than their shared classes, they used to have so much fun at practice with the other members, but since Tar was Tum's little brother he was always stuck with them after his classes and if he didn't mind the brat before he couldn't stand a single minute next to him and a lovesick Tharn. 

It was disgusting, the way that kid had him wrapped around his little finger, and what made him really frustrated was the lovely, angelic aura he always around him. 

Seeing them cuddle, kiss and exchange love glances made him throw up almost as much as hearing their conversations. 

How could someone as perfect as Tharn fell for such an innocent and young kid? 

What could he possibly find in someone like Tar? 

And most important, how were they in bed...? 

All those thought kept hitting him hard and harder each day, a strong sense of uneasiness and a deep hatred boiling in the depth of his soul, ready to get unleashed. 

_And before he could even realize it, he was paying those revolting man to ruin what Tharn loved the most._

Before he knew it, Tharn was completely broken, desperately crying in his arms and he, as his dearest person, was gently stroking his back, his hair, drawing soothing circles on his toned arm and inhaling the sweet scent of his shampoo, a satisfied smile adorning his lips and hiding into his beloved dark locks. 

It took a lot of time to glue his shattered heart together, but as long as he was at his side everything would be fine in the end, right? 

**Wrong.**

Lhong really helped Tharn to get over Tar with s lot of patience, love and care. He thought things went back to normal when he fought with Tum and he left. 

He thought everything was back to normal when Tharn started to hang out with him again and again, their bond stronger than before. 

It made him happy. 

_Until Tharn began to date guy after guy, and he had to get rid of them all._

He was there, every single time. 

Everything happened like a deja vu that he wanted to escape, an horrible nightmare that never ended no matter how much he tried to escape. 

Walking in the bar and finding him kissing someone. 

Walking through corridors and seeing him holding someone's hand. 

And even worse, he still remember the time he walked into the bar to forget about it and just happened to walk in to a broken hearted Tharn. 

He never forgot all the times he had to put the pieces of his soul together again and again, starting from the bottom all over as he kept getting dumped. 

It wasn't even hard to drive them away, a simple lie accompanied by his innocent, charming smile and they all fell in his trap. 

Those idiots never deserved someone like him. 

The two-months curse always seemed an eternal loop that needed to be reset, but eventually it came to a stop when Tharn decided that his heart couldn't endure more heart breaks. 

Damn it was the happiest day of his life. 

No more dating. No more idiots. No more people stealing his Tharn from him. 

He was fine with his hook ups. 

It seemed controversial, but as long as they didn't have his heart it was fine. It was just sex and even if he was jealous as hell, he could have endured anything for him, even though the though of these boys all over his Tharn... It was disgusting. 

But as long as they didn't steal his heart, it was fine. Because sooner or later Tharn would have realized how much he was doing for him, how much he loved him and would finally love him back. 

No matter how many time, no matter how many hours, days, years he was there and he wasn't in a rush. He could have waited for him for a lifetime, just being this close to him with the knowledge to be his most important person was enough to keep him happy. 

How many times have he touched himself, imagining Tharn's big hands all over his body. 

How many times have he been daydreaming about how good would his lips feel against his? 

_Everything was going so well between them._

_Them and no one in his way._

_Them against the world._

_Them, together, forever._

**Until that goddamn day.**

The day Tharn broke his heart. Again. For the millionth time in those years. 

_What went wrong?_

_How could he not notice?_

_When did Tharn slipped away from his fingers?_

The memory of Tharn announcing his relationship out of the blue right on the day he had planned to finally confess after years of pining and being hurt, sure that he finally returned his feelings... He was so sure, how could he hide a real from him? 

They even moved in together, without him knowing. 

That was the first time Tharn had broke his trust. 

That was the first time since Tar he had the urge to ruin him. 

And so his plan started. 

**And now he was all alone.**

**Sitting in the dark.**

Dried years burning on his skin, heart drained and mind blank. 

**Empty**.

He was empty. 

He had done so much for him, why? 

_Why couldn't Tharn look at him with those eyes?_

_Why couldn't Tharn love him like them?_

_Why couldn't Tharn realize his feelings all along?_

_Why couldn't Tharn give him a chance?_

_Not even a look._

_Not even a kiss._

_Not even a touch._

He was never nothing more than his best friend to him, and the reality hit him after his final plan failed. 

His world shattered completely when Type exposed him and Tharn gave him that look. 

_Why?_

_Why couldn't be him?_

_Why couldn't they be more than friends?_

He was handsome, kind, cheerful and sweet. 

What was so wrong with him that Tharn never even thought about him as a potential lover, boyfriend, hookup, anything more?

But now everything was over, and for the last time he sacrificed himself once again for Tharn's happiness. 

He was going to drop out and disappear from his life. 

He had lost. 

He had lost him, and his life was the same miserable shit as years ago. 

He had lost him, and he had no more reasons to stay. 

_**For the last time, he endured it.** _

_**For the last time, he tried.** _

_**For the last time, he pushed himself aside.** _

_**For the last time, he watched as a broken hearted Tharn was crying, but this time the arms wrapped around him were not his.** _

_**Not anymore.** _


End file.
